Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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