i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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