Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
