Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
