Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
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