i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he was CRYING into my vagina
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
