Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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