I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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