dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
