thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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