I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
