wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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