there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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