This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize