Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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