Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
