I'm really into asian looking animals
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
