"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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