I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You can't just leave with hair like that
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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