Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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