those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's shark week go big or go home
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
