sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
