in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I can't turn off my feet"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
