i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
