it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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