I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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