but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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