Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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