Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
