She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Is it penis luge time yet?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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