You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
