Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
