Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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