I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
