After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
