Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
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I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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