I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Are my feet made of real feet?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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