sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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