i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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