After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
