Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
