I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
