Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
we're so committed to being not committed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
