Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I understand Curling. That high.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
