btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
