am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My balls are so social today.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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