Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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