Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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