How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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