Sober January is a disaster.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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