i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
