I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
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