Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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