soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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