hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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