Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
