Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
