he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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