So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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